I have been pretty distant since my journey to motherhood kicked into high-gear last Tuesday. Plenty of people have had questions and I haven’t shared too much information because I would be repeating myself a billion times and I simply don’t have that sort of patience at the moment. Maybe my infinite mom patience will come in with my milk. Ha.
I’m not pulling any punches. Y’all asked, y’all are getting answers. I just needed the time to breathe and organize my thoughts before writing.
Tuesday, October 30th, I arrived at the hospital for a routine non-stress test (NST). I was in my third week of doing two weekly NSTs and expected nothing more than the usual. Well… my body had different ideas. Although I was feeling pretty darned good that day, my blood pressure was 175/81 when I was getting ready for the test. I realized that I forgot to take my meds that morning (and this was the only dose I ever missed), so the nurse had me take my dose and we checked the BP again after the test. Baby girl was kicking and thriving, but my BP wasn’t dropping.
Enter my OB and the news of getting admitted for monitoring. No big deal, just staying overnight to be sure everything is okay. Once we were settled in our room, I sent Lee to grab a couple things for the night and he returned to a completely new plan… we were going to induce. Since I only had BP issues during pregnancy and my proteins had DOUBLED in five days, the doctors said we’re getting the baby out. They wanted everything to be as natural as possible, so we were going the slow route of induction that would likely take a couple days.
Two days, a Foley catheter, and three IVs later… nothing is progressing. I was having random, painless contractions. I dilated to 3cm after the Foley cath torture (I do NOT recommend it) and then stayed at 3cm. Cora wasn’t dropping enough to break my water. My OB came in and announced that we would be taking a break for the evening. Let my body rest. So Thursday night was my “vacation” in which my IVs were capped, I was able to shower, and I got to sleep through the night.
Friday morning, we started back up again. Magnesium, pitocin, insulin, two bags of different fluids corresponding to the MAG and insulin, and penicillin went coursing back into my veins. This time… nothing happened again. Zero change. By 2:30 that afternoon, I was ready to beg for a c-section if they weren’t ready to give me one.
Thank God my OBs (I had two by now) were not fond of torturing their patients longer than necessary and had come to the same conclusion that I had… the baby needed to be born and my body wasn’t going to help.
Cora Mae was torn from my guts at 5:47pm while Lee watched the whole ordeal over the top of the curtain. I was blissfully numb and was able to say hello to my baby girl for a minute before they whisked her to the NICU with Lee in tow. Because she was born at 34 weeks and 4 days, her stay in the NICU was unavoidable. At her age, they needed to be sure she could regulate her body temperature, breathe unassisted, and eat well before going home.
No one had any doubt about her working lungs when she was pulled from my belly and the world’s most adorable little squawk made the entire operating room say a collective “aww”. One goal down.
My healing has been pretty good. I look like the victim of assault with so many bruises and IV holes, but I’m getting better with each day and feeling more like a regular person again. Physically, anyway. Post-partum hormones are no joke. Be nice to every woman you know that has just given birth because she is a basket-case of epic proportions. My emotions are heightened by not being able to stay in the hospital with Cora. I have bawled my eyes out so many times in the last week over not being with my baby. I’m the only mom in the NICU who basically lives there during the day. I get anxious when I am away too long. I have a feeling that I will spend the first 24 hours of Cora’s life at home clinging to the poor infant for dear life.
Cora’s progress is great. She has had zero issues with temperature since day one. However, eating regularly is tiring for her preemie body and a feeding tube was placed last night to make sure she is gaining weight and getting all her calories. Also, she likes to have apnea spells that require stimulation to get her to breathe again. Other than those two minor setbacks, she has been meeting and exceeding her goals. Without any further issues, she should be coming home sometime next week.
Did I mention she is the most mellow kid I’ve ever met? If you make her mad, she cries like any other baby… until the SECOND you fix it. Crying immediately stops and she resumes whatever state she was in before. Take out her IV, she cries pathetically (as all newborns do) until you put a band-aid on her hand. The band-aid sticks, she is immediately calm. I will say she hates spitting up the most, though. She stops crying once she’s clean. Guess she doesn’t like being gross any more than the next person.
She’s also a cuddle bug, which makes this mommy incredibly happy as I could snuggle her all day without moving and be totally content.
I’m probably forgetting some things, but that’s normal in my post-op, drugged-up life.
Ooh, Lee. I’m forgetting to mention that watching him be a dad is about the coolest, most heart-tugging experience. Not only did I fall in love with a tiny human this week, I also fell in love with my husband all over again. Best experience of my life.
Bittersweet Strength 